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Okay, I did not have a chance to watch the Oscars this year. They should really, really stop doing award shows on Sunday evenings: not only is that when everyone’s sorority meetings are, but it’s also the time I choose to procrastinate all of my homework until. Someone has got to realize this truth someday and make these shows air at times I’m actually watching TV. Like every Friday night.

When I polled my friends, about half of them caught the Oscars, which I guess is a pretty solid statistic considering many of us live in the same procrastination nation. However, even though just half of them watched the actual show, all of them knew a little something-or-other about what had gone down. I realized immediately that their knowledge was due to social media. SO. Here are the things you can learn about the 2014 Oscars via social media. You’re welcome for expanding upon what you’ve already seen.

1. Ellen is our Queen.

Perhaps the very first thing I learned when searching for info on the Oscars was the knowledge that “Ellen was AMAZING” and did her job just swimmingly. One of her biggest compliments was that she didn’t have to insult celebrities to get a laugh (though I heard she’s teasing JLaw for her second time tripping at the Oscars. But who isn’t) which I know is pretty rare. The only host I can even remember is Ricky Gervais (what was he hosting again? The Golden Globes? I don’t even know) and the world knows that cutting insults are his specialty. Personally, I think staying on Hollywood’s good side is part of her plan for world domination.

2. The Selfie Heard 'Round the World.

I like… I can’t. There are no words to describe how amazing this is. I know our generation gets a lot of crap for our reliance on technology and our supposed inability to create anything new, but dammit, we know how to be hilarious and culturally relevant. Ellen is basically an honorary millennial. I’m going to mail her the paperwork. She made this epic #selfie happen. Within 24 hours, it has gone completely viral and it may become my cover photo. Just try and tell me that the baby boomers have something this golden. Literally try me. #MerylsStillFlawless #TheyWokeUpLikeThis

3. JEN FINALLY GOT HER PIZZA.

Anyone who’s a huge JLaw fan knows that infamous story she told in an interview about how Josh Hutcherson’s mom had promised to order a pizza while they were out kayaking in Hawaii while filming Catching Fire, but failed to do so by the time they returned. Jennifer had been so excited that she recalled herself saying “WHERE’S THE PIZZA” in the best demonic/hungry voice we’ve ever heard. Welp, ladies and gents, according to social media, Ellen (we may refer to her as The Queen from here on out) promised to order pizza for the crowd of celebrities and completely followed through. Everyone was so happy to see the pizza (as was I) but no one happier than our Jen.

Except maybe my girl, Meryl.

4. Lupita Nyong'o Stole the Show.

I have to admit, I hadn’t heard of Ms. Nyong’o until just recently, (mostly because I haven’t gotten a chance to see 12 Years a Slave yet) but she is downright killin’ it in Hollywood. There were many social media posts about her inspirational acceptance speech (she won for Best Supporting Actress) in which she says: “No matter where you’re from, your dreams are valid.” She identifies as Mexican-Kenyan (born in Mexico, but of Kenyan decent) which I find extremely interesting. Now the world’s abuzz with excitement about any upcoming projects she may do! Plus, have you seen her amazing red carpet dresses? Fashion may have found it’s new muse.

5. Travolta Made a New Place in History for Himself.

As the guy who completely effed up Idina Menzel’s name. According to the clips I’ve seen, John Travolta was presenting Ms. Menzel in her musical performance for the evening, but totally screwed up and called her something like “Adele Dazeem.” I guess he saw the Z and got nervous? I mean, not all of us were blessed with the easiest name in the world to pronounce, JOHN. Not even 24 hours after his flub, a new internet sensation was born: Travoltifying your name. Just type your first and last name into the generator and see how John Travolta might pronounce it. For the record, mine’s Morgan Seempzon.

6. Pharrell Danced with Some Super Famous Ladies.

Pharrell performed his hit song “Happy,” and at one point, it seems that he ventured out into the audience (the first row, to be exact) and got to interacting with the front-rowers (which I like to believe are the most famous of the famous). Long story short, he got Lupita Nyong’o, Meryl Streep, and Amy Adams to shake it a little as he passed by. WHAT I WOULDN’T GIVE TO HAVE BEEN THAT HAT.

7. LEO NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

I promise you, Leo, we’re going to get you that Oscar next year. It’s your time, buddy. Conceal, don’t feel. We want nothing more than your happiness. The internet is here for you, my little flower. Shhhh just go to sleep now.