Megan Simpson's Writing Portfolio

You all get that reference, right?

So, it’s opinion time, my friends. Anyone who doesn’t want to hear mine can just stop reading. Or, actually, get off the internet entirely: don’t you know the internet is 20% pictures of cute animals and 80% opinions?

Alright, it seems like, these days, everyone has opinions on having opinions. Having opinions on opinions is the new thing. “Look how existential we are! It’s like Inception! Leo DiCaprio! Ellen Page! I don’t just like it, I JOSEPH. GORDON. LOVE-IT.”

Having opinions is one of the great things that humans possess. Discourse is an important part of any social and political structure. It’s one of the things we pride ourselves on, though if we’re being honest, we actually hate when someone else dares to have an opposing opinion. This goes for everyone ever. Some of us might be better at hiding our true feelings, but we all know that the phrase “let’s agree to disagree” is some bullshit. I am no exception to this rule. Just the other day I cursed someone under my breath for saying that eating un-processed foods only should be one of the top priorities in every person’s life. That girl’s hair has since fallen out. Do not cross me and my goldfish crackers.

~*~*~PERFECTLY EXECUTED SEGUE~*~*~

Opinions lead to advice. We ask for it, we read columns for it, we ignore it, we curse ourselves when things don’t work out. Now, I’m going to grad school to become a therapist: a career that many people consider to be a glorified (and paid!) advice-giver. First of all, have you been to therapy? I’ve literally begged counselors to tell me what to do. They never do. That’s what your biased friends are for. Where am I going with all of this? Good question. I just asked myself that out loud, actually.

Advice can be fun. You can get it from internet articles or your mom’s best friend or that guy that sits next to you who’s overly-invested in your life. Advice can be not so fun. You can get it from internet articles or your mom’s best friend or that guy that sits next to you who’s overly-invested in your life. Advice is so so SO subjective. I know people who’ve gotten their life mottos from articles they’ve found online or in magazines, and it helps them get through tough times. That’s awesome. I’ve also literally heard a girl say to another girl at a party, “So what if he has a girlfriend? They’re long distance! They’re going to break up anyway, everyone knows that. You should just go kiss him right now!” Advice is this crazy, weird thing.

I’ve seen and heard so many opinions on advice: “Never take advice from your girlfriends!” “Always listen to your mom’s advice. She knows what she’s talking about.” “Don’t read those stupid advice columns online: it’s dumb to let Elite Daily tell you what to do.” It’s also funny that the nay-sayers on advice (at least, in my own personal experience) have been the first to say shit like “Dump him. He’s not worth it. I know that this is the first time I’ve ever heard you complain about him, but dump him. He’s the worst. What’s his name again?” Advice only goes as far as you let it.

“Of course, Megan. Shut up. You’re not the authority on morality and social awareness just because you have a blog.”

Yes, thank you, critic. I often say similar things about other people’s blogs and YouTube channels. I’ve tasted my own medicine and it tastes like grape so eff you.

My own, completely unwarranted, unsolicited, unlicensed (for now!) advice: do whatever you want. Social norms are bullshit. You can take in other people’s advice and opinions and consider those BuzzFeed articles and the story your mom told you about how “all of her high school boyfriends turned out to be gay, so never date in high school,” but at the end of the day, you’re calling the shots. I’ve learned from experience that it’s better to let your friends get unjustifiably upset with you for not taking their advice than to do something/not do something because of someone else. Also, side note opinion: your value is not set by anyone else but you. Wear what you want, say what you want, be what you want, because before you represent anything else in the entire world, you represent you. Maybe keep your social media platforms on private if what you want to do conflicts with current or future employment, but do what you want to do.

Thank you, mom and dad, for raising me like you did and for letting me be myself no matter what.

Though this is applicable in so many current life situations for me, this post is dedicated to my Little. “I don’t like to gamble, but if there’s one thing I’m willing to bet on, it’s myself.” -B

As Jennifer Lawrence once said, “I never think it’s right to chew gum in front of other people, but a lot of times I’ll come in for a meeting chewing gum and I’ll forget I’m chewing it. Then you don’t want to swallow it because it stays in your system for seven years or something […] I’ve started to wonder if that’s why I didn’t get certain movies.”

-Megan